The second anniversary of my husband's death was in mid-April. Of course, it was filled with memories - it's bittersweet. It was a lovey day. I spent time out on the dock enjoying some quiet and listening to some of 'our music.'
When I came inside, I knew I needed to 'produce' some artwork. I haven't painted in awhile and the art league's annual Members' Show was coming up in May. I had no idea what I wanted to paint... I decided to just get out a sheet of Yupo paper and experiment with my watercolor paints.
I just 'messed around with color'... My yellow got really muddy...I continued to 'play'. I wondered what would happen if I dropped alcohol on the wet paint. Some interesting effects. The alcohol moved the color around and left circles that eventually turned into abstract shapes...and a big mess!
I started again with some clean yellow, red and blue. This time not mixing the colors, just looking to see what would happen with the alcohol. You can see it more clearly on the red and blue.
When that paint dried I decided to paint over the whole thing. This time I used a lot of blue to cover what was there. I squeezed out blue paint straight from the tube and spread it around in different places...lots of brush strokes. I dropped alcohol, made lots of blotches and let it dry. Unfortunately, I do not have a photo of what it looked like then.
The next day I looked at it and decided to lift some of the paint. Yupo paper is fun to work with! I have found that if I wet the paper and then blot it, the paint lifts right off to show the white paper beneath. Without planning anything, I wet a toothpick and drew around the top of a large jar. Two big circles...then another smaller circle. I was on a roll...I put in some lines... I wanted to do some smaller circles so I looked around and found my scissors - the thumb holes do ovals well. I began to lift ovals. Here I finally began to think...artwork needs odd numbered things. I counted off seven ovals in a chain. Then three in another place.
If you look closely, you can see the colors from the underpainting although most of it disappeared!
looked at it again and decided that the places I lifted paint needed to be more visible. So I then wet a Q-tip and drew with it.
I love blue... (obviously) and had done a painting a few months ago that I called "Garden Music". (See post from December 6, 2023) This new painting had that banjo sort of shape in it...so I called this "Singing the Blues."
I was ready to register for the May show. I signed it and framed it. Finished, right?
Well, there's a lot more to this story... I thought it would be fun to Google 'Singing the Blues' and listen to the words. That decision opened my heart in an incredible way! I began looking at this painting in a whole new light.
I am aware that I often do things - simple things - and later find meaning that I did not know was there. This was no longer a painting about my favorite color 'blue' but a true painting about 'the blues.' I had been painting my feelings... I suddenly saw the two large connected circles as George and me. Then there is a single circle...me alone. Then I saw the broken chain. The longer chain that I had counted seven links, now had eight! The shorter chain was three. We were married 38 years! I now see that the chain has broken at some sort of crossroads...and, if you follow the small two lane..one lane road you get to the three links. I have moved into my third year alone! I keep finding more and more symbols.., I love the light coming through the 'blue' woods... I see 'hope.'
Now, I am sure that this is all just me. The amazing thing about abstract art is that each person finds their own message when they look closely.
To see this painting 'up close and personal', visit the St. Michaels Library during the month of May. Find and write your own story!
